That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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