She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
