Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
