I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
