he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
