question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
