Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
