Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
