Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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