Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
