I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So many bounce houses so little time
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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