Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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