Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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