Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
