I'm drive I can fine osifer
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
