i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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