i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
