im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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