I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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