why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
