But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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