Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
