the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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