im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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