We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
