She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
