we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
