Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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