No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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