just tell him i said nine months
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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