absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
