Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
