You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You left your phone here
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