I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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