Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
