Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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