just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
