Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
