So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
