I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
