is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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