My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to calm my uterus...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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