i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
