On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
