we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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