Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
