i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
