she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
