I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
