we have officially lost it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
