I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
