Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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