So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
