i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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